FindCarrie - AGH - Missing & Murdered Person Blog

Information on missing and murdered people and the issues surrounding their cases. ***No material on this site is to be redistributed or rewritten - Copyright Find Carrie Culberson***

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Still Missing But NOT Forgotten - Carrie Culberson 10 Yrs Later

This past weekend, mom and I headed North to Blanchester Ohio for the day that I've been dreading for two months. We were joined by some precious friends, Patti Bishop (mom of Karen Jo Smith), Lorraine Lucas (mother of unsolved murder victim - Brian Lucas), Dawn Vowel (daughter of Sandra Travis missing), Karen Kraemer (mother of missing Becky Marzo), just to name a few. All of the mothers and daughters came from various states to join Debbie Culberson for Carrie's 10th disappearance anniversary and a special ceremony that was to be held. I thought I would share with all of you dedicated supporters how our weekend went.

Beginning with Saturday night after we had all gone out to eat and to catch up on things, we were driving down a back road in Wilmington, which is not far from Blanchester (where Carrie vanished), when Carrie's mom accidentially took a wrong turn. We ended up in the general area of the police department that now has a permanent statue in place in rememberance of Carrie. Since we were in the same area, we all pulled in and took a look at Carrie's statue. At midnight the statue was illuminated by the lights coming from the pole lights. She was so beautiful it was unbelievable. I wondered silently maybe had Carrie guided us to the statue because this was the only way we can visit with her since her body is missing.

We spent a lot of time visiting and just talking about the various cases. We dont have to feel weird about talking openly about the cases because we know that the people we are around understand and are basically as obcessed as we are. Sometimes certain people just do not understand and that was another topic - friends understanding and dealing after you are struck with a tradegy or in my case, working on cases with a lot of sadness. As I've stated many times, there is grey area with this. People either get it or they dont, and making them understand is not very easy if not completely impossible.

The day I dreaded came on Monday. Our day consisted of going to all the places were Carrie was last seen the night she vanished. Debbie took all the ladies out on the road to see these places because everyone agreed, they wanted to see everything to get a clearer understanding of what exactly went wrong on August 28, 1996. I have never done real well with being in the area where the junkyard pond is. I suppose knowing that is where Carrie was after she'd been murdered makes me so upset. That's also where she slipped right through our fingers. There is no way we could have known and this bothers not only me but her mom daily.
We had to rush back and get dressed because we had to get to the ceremony at 6, and I was a basketcase by the time we got there.

The ceremony was not about Carrie only. It consisted of others in Blanchester who were victims that originated from domestic violence. Another statue was unveiled for the fallen police officer who was recognized. The statue was beautiful.
After the ceremony ended I was able to visit with Bill Peele the Clinton County District Attorney who has set the tone for so many other DA's and has given hope to so many families with his all or nothing approach to Carrie's murder case. A soft spoken man who is extremly smart, and knows his job well. Bill was only a few of the dear people that I got the chance to visit with in person not just via email and telephone. One of our long time supporters who logs onto our forum drove out and came to support Carrie. I thought that was so nice of her to take time for Carrie. Lynn, if you are reading this, you are truely appreciated.

A night filled with sadness, kindness and love ended up back at Carrie's house where we held a small vigil for her in the front yard. I decided that our balloons this year should be purple and yellow. The purple stood for domestic violence and the yellow was for missing. We incorporated both of these colors to remember not just Carrie's situation, but several of the ladies whose loved ones were missing under the same circumstances. The sky was beautiful as Carrie's balloons floated away into the beautiful night time sky. Just like Carrie, there at one time, but now gone in a flash.

As the night concluded and we all said our goodbyes, we began plans to leave and come home. I felt a presence of what I believe to be Carrie that rode with me all the way to our hotel. I know in my heart of hearts that Carrie and some of the other lost loved ones were there in spirit. Everyone felt it.

As I was driving down I75 South just outside of Lexington, Kentucky, mom and I began to talk about patience and why is it taking so long. As the conversation was going along, I looked up and noticed the under pass concrete beam that had something spray painted on it. In forest green spray painted letters, it read "Trust Jesus". I asked mom did she see it because I wanted to make sure I was not seeing things. I did not sleep well last night. I never sleep well on August 28th. Mom saw the same words just as we were passing.

While that probably sounds very cheesy and lame, I had to take it as a sign of hope that goes back to what we've all been told time and time again. Everything is in God's timing. I went home today without Carrie being found and it now being 10 years with her being gone. I went home wondering when will be time for this nightmare to end. I also was reminded yet once again that nobody ever said this was going to be easy and when all is said and done, I'm just going to have to do what that spray painted message said today. I will have to do this because he'll be the one who brings Carrie home. My obcession with finding her resumes and is going stronger than ever. I've been joined by several others that I know will continue to search for her if something should ever happen to me. I'll never give up on finding Carrie and in my heart, I know more than ever I was meant to do this. However long it takes, I'll always be looking and even though Carrie is still missing, she's not forgotten. Carrie's memory will live on in our hearts and minds. It cannot be hurt, hidden, or destroyed.
(pictured left - I found this picture of Carrie that was taken in 1995. I got this from her mom in the stack of pictures I'm going to add to Carrie's site. I thought it was only appropriate to post this in closing) You were riding with us today in spirit. I couldn't see you, but in my heart, I felt you were there. You know my promise. I'll find you.

See Photos From the Weekend to Remember Carrie
Carrie's Main Website


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