Still Missing But NOT Forgotten - Carrie Culberson 10 Yrs Later

This past weekend, mom and I headed North to Blanchester Ohio for the day that I've been dreading for two months. We were joined by some precious friends, Patti Bishop (mom of Karen Jo Smith), Lorraine Lucas (mother of unsolved murder victim - Brian Lucas), Dawn Vowel (daughter of Sandra Travis missing), Karen Kraemer (mother of missing Becky Marzo), just to name a few. All of the mothers and daughters came from various states to join Debbie Culberson for Carrie's 10th disappearance anniversary and a special ceremony that was to be held. I thought I would share with all of you dedicated supporters how our weekend went.

Beginning with Saturday night after we had all gone out to eat and to catch up on things, we were driving down a back road in Wilmington, which is not far from Blanchester (where Carrie vanished), when Carrie's mom accidentially took a wrong turn. We ended up in the general area of the police department that now has a permanent statue in place in rememberance of Carrie. Since we were in the same area, we all pulled in and took a look at Carrie's statue. At midnight the statue was illuminated by the lights coming from the pole lights. She was so beautiful it was unbelievable. I wondered silently maybe had Carrie guided us to the statue because this was the only way we can visit with her since her body is missing.

We spent a lot of time visiting and just talking about the various cases. We dont have to feel weird about talking openly about the cases because we know that the people we are around understand and are basically as obcessed as we are. Sometimes certain people just do not understand and that was another topic - friends understanding and dealing after you are struck with a tradegy or in my case, working on cases with a lot of sadness. As I've stated many times, there is grey area with this. People either get it or they dont, and making them understand is not very easy if not completely impossible.


The day I dreaded came on Monday. Our day consisted of going to all the places were Carrie was last seen the night she vanished. Debbie took all the ladies out on the road to see these places because everyone agreed, they wanted to see everything to get a clearer understanding of what exactly went wrong on August 28, 1996. I have never done real well with being in the area where the junkyard pond is. I suppose knowing that is where Carrie was after she'd been murdered makes me so upset. That's also where she slipped right through our fingers. There is no way we could have known and this bothers not only me but her mom daily.
We had to rush back and get dressed because we had to get to the ceremony at 6, and I was a basketcase by the time we got there.

The ceremony was not about Carrie only. It consisted of others in Blanchester who were victims that originated from domestic violence. Another statue was unveiled for the fallen police officer who was recognized. The statue was beautiful.
After the ceremony ended I was able to visit with Bill Peele the Clinton County District Attorney who has set the tone for so many other DA's and has given hope to so many families with his all or nothing approach to Carrie's murder case. A soft spoken man who is extremly smart, and knows his job well. Bill was only a few of the dear people that I got the chance to visit with in person not just via email and telephone. One of our long time supporters who logs onto our forum drove out and came to support Carrie. I thought that was so nice of her to take time for Carrie. Lynn, if you are reading this, you are truely appreciated.

A night filled with sadness, kindness and love ended up back at Carrie's house where we held a small vigil for her in the front yard. I decided that our balloons this year should be purple and yellow. The purple stood for domestic violence and the yellow was for missing. We incorporated both of these colors to remember not just Carrie's situation, but several of the ladies whose loved ones were missing under the same circumstances. The sky was beautiful as Carrie's balloons floated away into the beautiful night time sky. Just like Carrie, there at one time, but now gone in a flash.

As the night concluded and we all said our goodbyes, we began plans to leave and come home. I felt a presence of what I believe to be Carrie that rode with me all the way to our hotel. I know in my heart of hearts that Carrie and some of the other lost loved ones were there in spirit. Everyone felt it.

As I was driving down I75 South just outside of Lexington, Kentucky, mom and I began to talk about patience and why is it taking so long. As the conversation was going along, I looked up and noticed the under pass concrete beam that had something spray painted on it. In forest green spray painted letters, it read "Trust Jesus". I asked mom did she see it because I wanted to make sure I was not seeing things. I did not sleep well last night. I never sleep well on August 28th. Mom saw the same words just as we were passing.

While that probably sounds very cheesy and lame, I had to take it as a sign of hope that goes back to what we've all been told time and time again. Everything is in God's timing. I went home today without Carrie being found and it now being 10 years with her being gone. I went home wondering when will be time for this nightmare to end. I also was reminded yet once again that nobody ever said this was going to be easy and when all is said and done, I'm just going to have to do what that spray painted message said today. I will have to do this because he'll be the one who brings Carrie home. My obcession with finding her resumes and is going stronger than ever. I've been joined by several others that I know will continue to search for her if something should ever happen to me. I'll never give up on finding Carrie and in my heart, I know more than ever I was meant to do this. However long it takes, I'll always be looking and even though Carrie is still missing, she's not forgotten. Carrie's memory will live on in our hearts and minds. It cannot be hurt, hidden, or destroyed.
(pictured left - I found this picture of Carrie that was taken in 1995. I got this from her mom in the stack of pictures I'm going to add to Carrie's site. I thought it was only appropriate to post this in closing) You were riding with us today in spirit. I couldn't see you, but in my heart, I felt you were there. You know my promise. I'll find you.


See Photos From the Weekend to Remember Carrie
Carrie's Main Website

Have We Really Made A Break in The JonBenet Case?

Unless you live in a cave, you've probably seen the news flashing this pathetic looking man wearing his pants pulled up underneath his arm pits. His name is John Mark Karr and he is believed to be responsible for the now ten year old unsolved murder of JonBenet Ramsey.
He was arrested in Thailand and shortly thereafter, made a confession in front of hundred of TV cameras. Karr claims that he "loved" JonBenet, he was with her when she died and her death was an accident. However, he dodges the questions about how he got into the house. This is making some people wonder, was this man ever inside the house, or is he using this for attention? I'll tell you all why I suspect this.


Karr is a pervert. He's in trouble for child porn in Thailand. Their laws are very different from the United States. Chances are he's looking at some serious jail time there if he is tried and convicted there. If he gets back to the states and is tried her for this situation, and they find out he's a blooming idiot and made the whole thing up, chances are, he won't be sent back to Thailand to face those charges so he's gotten himself out of a lot of trouble already. You say, well why'd the FBI come after him if they had NOTHING. That's the part that is interesting. Obviously they had something they wanted to talk to him about. I believe his factination with the documented Polly Klaas murder and then JonBenet, and his email trasactions may be what caused the authorities to zero in on him. This man is a nut case for sure. I am still not ready to jump conclusions and say OH MY GOD they've found the KILLER, because there is still something that is not adding up.
Karr is not giving them the correct information and it could be that he's doing this to be a typical psychopath or it could be because he is not the real killer, I just dont know. I do know one thing. The media has exploited the hell of that poor family and JonBenet. Is it really necessary to put a film crew out by her gravesite for crying out loud?
How many other families are there out there right now who have suffered the same type of situation but never got this type of media hype. Frankly, I was trying to watch a little of the Perry March trial when it was interrupted by this man wearing these pants up too high. By the way, the found March GUILTY and I was glad.
We'll all be watching this whether we want to or not and hopefully they'll find out if this man is for real or if he's just another pervert who needs to be put to sleep.

What It's Really Like To Have Someone You Love Turn Up Missing Pt II

Today is part two of taking a look at what it's like to have someone you love disappear without a trace. I decided that I wanted to have a few relatives tell our viewers what it's like to live a day in their life. Today's story comes from Karren Kraemer, a lady I met through Patti and Ed Bishop this past July at the Midwestern Coalition for the Missing. Karren and I bonded immediately because she's just a nice lady. She tells me that Debbie and I have given her inspiration and strength. She's given us so many wonderful things as well. I'd like for you all to please read her words about her missing daughter. Once you complete it, please visit Becky's website. We need to find Becky and bring her home. Karren, thank-you for sharing this with us. We will find Becky!

Help Find Becky Marzo


Words by Karren
Today, I took a minute to think about how my life has changed. Some people never ask themselves this question but today I felt it was important that I share this thought with the people I care most about. I am the mother of as missing person. You know I never in my life thought I would lose a child, someone that I gave birth to, someone that I loved. A daughter that any parent would be proud to have.
When my mother died I thought that I had felt the worst pain of all. I never thought I would or could feel such an overwhelming pain and loss, one that hurt so deep. I remember back to that evening when I walked into the emergency room so unprepared for my mother’s death. I looked at my mother and thought oh God please let her life with you be better then the life she had on earth. I prayed that God took all her pain away and let her walk through the gates of heaven pain free and happy. Something she wasn’t able to feel for so many years. I had to believe that God was that powerful, to help her escape the painful life she had and that he somehow knew that, that night was the night to bring her home. You know I felt guilt and pain when she died. Did I do everything I could to help her? Why did I ignore the truth for all those years? It took me a long time to overcome that pain and loss, I still struggle to force myself to go to the cemetery to visit her grave. I go there and even though it’s been so long ago I am reminded of her sad painful life. It still causes the pain to return, the sadness, the sorrow for her life of pain in the end.
I did everything I could to protect my children from the pain I saw in my family. Yet, it wasn’t enough! I thought if I raised the kids in a better neighborhood with great schools and was always there for them, they would never have to endure what their parents endured. They had a great father who showed his love to them everyday. My husband cared about their happiness, he would give his life for each and everyone of them. He showed such pride in each and every one of their accomplishments. I never knew what that felt like as a child. I as a child never experienced that type of love and compassion. I thought I could stop the cycle.
Then it happened!!!
I saw my daughter Becky going down a road that I knew could eventually kill her if she didn’t get out. I kept begging her to leave her boyfriend. I couldn’t understand the pain she let him inflict on her. She was so smart and beautiful. She could have had anyone she wanted. Why did she stay with him? Why didn’t she listen to us? Why did she distance herself from the people who really loved her?
Becky went missing!!!
Then I lost Becky. My Becky, God I loved her so much. I will never be able to tell you guys how much I miss her . I hope none of you will ever have to walk in my footprints. For those of you, my Sisters and brothers in search, you understand so well my pain. We share it and understand each other like no one else could ever understand us. When we have our breakdowns and periods of crying you understand, and wait for the moment to pass. I have had my share of sad days and nights. You know when you get up in the morning and you see something that reminds you of that very special person that you’ve lost. It could be a commercial, a picture, or a song. Reminders are there all the time. Sometimes they are more prevalent than other times. I think to myself, how will Life ever be normal again? Then, I realize this is my life, changed forever. .
I have spent two and a half years in pain and helplessness because of my loss. I have been forced to ask myself questions like. Where is my daughter? Is she dead or alive? If she is indeed dead, why was she murdered? What gave him the right to take her life? These are the moments of wonderment I now have. How could this happen to my Becky? How could the police treat this as just another ordinary crime? How I can I overcome this with some dignity intact? What can I do to make a difference?
Then today as I cleaned the house I took the time to think, “ Multitasking” That I’m good at, I thought you know maybe everything does happen for a reason, maybe God’s plan is greater then mine. I don’t know, but I do know that I can’t let Becky’s life be for not. It is up to me as her mother to make the difference, and find her. I have to get the strength and courage to go full circle with this. My goal is to make people hear my story, and the stories of all the women and men who have gone missing. This is a very hard road to cross, as most government officials don’t want to get involved. Most politicians want pretty topics during election year. Domestic Violence, Murder, and our missing children, seem to be way to messy for them. I can tell you all that I am going to stay committed to getting this Coalition going and it needs to be done with urgency. Everyday another woman is battered by her spouse or boyfriend. If she’s lucky she will get away, if not she will end up like our daughter’s murdered and dumped somewhere. These beautiful souls lost forever. It is up to us the parents, the brothers and sisters and the public to help put an end to this type of violence. I have to fight this battle because I need and deserve closure.
My life has changed, I know that there has to be something I can do to make a difference. I need to have a mission to help bring justice to all the families that have suffered through the same pain that I have. . I look at all my Sister’s in Search and I think there are no boundaries here. This is not a crime for a special group of people. This is a crime that crosses every boundary line race, religion, and economic class. I need to find the people who will listen and I need to make them hear our lost one’s voices. I need to find the answers and start educating our children, daughters and sons our legal system, and the police. I need to stay focused on what my objectives are. It is to put an end to the loss that will most certainly affect another innocent family today, tomorrow and in the furture.
As a parent I feel so much pain on a daily basis. I’ve had cops say, ”You need to talk to someone”, I’ve had cops say, ”Don’t talk to anyone you might foil the case”. As a parent what do I do? Do I call the Crisis Intervention at the DA’s office and talk about my pain? Will he use my pain to work against me later on? Do I seek help out of the control of the DA and Police? Will that help? Do I find a support group where I can talk openly and honestly? Who can I trust? Is it wrong to want to blame the cops for my fear of screwing up the case so I go no where with my pain except the occasional frustrated call to the cop in charge of Becky’s case. She must think I’m a total emotional wreck. Then I remember I am the victim, or Am I? Do I feel like I’m a victim but really I’m not? Who is the victim? Is Becky the victim? Does her pain and death institute the type of justice I’m seeking? Do I as a parent of an adult victim have any real rights? What is the answer? Do any of us really know? I ask these questions daily of myself? I’m only one person, yet I feel that I must do something. I need to make a difference for Becky and all our missing children.…..
I need to make things right. I need to make all the men that have hurt our daughter’s, mother’s and sisters think twice before they do it again. I need every voice possible to help me make this happen. It is only a question? Is it the right question? I don’t know any more. All I know is that my Becky is gone! Deb Culberson’s daughter Carrie is gone, Patti and Ed Bishop’s daughter Karen Jo is gone, Margie Mortior’s, son Amos is missing, Dawn and Tom Vowell’s mother Sandra Kay Travis is missing, Darlene Pitts sister Kathy Fry is gone. This is such a small list and yet it grows daily. These are the families that need to know the truth, these are the people who wake up every day thinking,”How has their lives changed?”
Our lives will never be the same. The pain will never go away.
Today, my life has a mission. Three years ago I had a good nights sleep. Three years ago I had a great job, three years ago I was planning for an Alaskan cruise. Three years ago life was normal. Today I look at every ditch and railroad track as a possible place to hide my daughters remains. Today when I hear a news story about an unidentified female body discovered somewhere I call the local Medical Examiner to see if they know who it is and should I send Becky’s DNA or Dental Records. Today I drive into the darkest streets in Milwaukee to hang Posters on telephone poles. I knock on doors and ask strangers if they knew my daughter. Today I go to my computer and start the search all over. Is he on a different website or does he have a new e-mail address. Today I cry. Yes my life has changed forever as I have to continue to search for my daughter. I need answers to my questions. I need to know what happened to her. I need to know that the person responsible for her disappearance and murder is held accountable. I need to have a good nights sleep. I need your prayers. I need support. Yes my life has changed forever!

Janet March Missing Today for 10 Years - Husband on Trial for Her Murder

Janet March disappeared off the face of the earth ten years ago on this date (August 16, 1996). Her loving husband, Perry March would tell her parents that she told him she needed a break from things and took a small vacation to get away, and she never returned. Janet's car would turn up in an apartment complex about a week later abandoned, but still no trace of Janet.
The case began to take a more sinister turn. Perry March did not want Janet's parents to go to the authorities just yet, although by this time, Janet had been gone for nearly two solid weeks. Perry claimed that going to the police might embarass Janet because she'd been on vacation and that he'd opt to hire a PI instead of going to the police. Janet's parents thought this was ridiculous and reported Janet MISSING. This was only the beginning of what would be a ten year roller coaster for the Levine family.

Perry March surely had an edge over most people who would want to commit a crime, he had knowledge of the law, after all, he was a successful attorney in Nashville, Tennessee. He has claimed from the beginning that he had NOTHING to do with Janet's disappearance. Well I suppose everyone should just believe him and leave it at that? Not hardly.
As it became apparent Perry March was not going to cooperate with authorities regarding his wife's disappearance, they would need to secure a search warrant for the March house.
Perry March claimed that Janet had typed him a to do list before she took her vacation. The only problem is that their computer's hard drive was gone, just like Janet March. Who would take the computer's hard drive out and why? Could it be because Janet March never typed that to do list and if the hard drive were to be analyzed that it would be determined that Perry March had made up the list, and the story about Janet taking a vacation?


It would take nearly nine years before Perry March's castle would begin to crumble. He'd already moved to Mexico to be with his smart mouth daddy whose interview with 48 Hours was one that nobody can ever forget. Dear old dad and Perry were first charged with attempting to hire a hit against Janet's parents to stop them from trying to gain custody of the two children Janet had with Perry March. Arthur March struck a deal with the police to escape a lengthy jail sentence and testified against Perry. He stated that he and Perry helped dispose of Janet after Perry murdered her on August 16, 1996. So far, they've been unable to find Janet's body. Could it be that Arthur lied? He should go back to jail as far as I'm concerned.

Janet is now missing for ten years today and FINALLY Perry March is on trial for her murder. To date Janet has not been located, so this is a trial without the body, just like Carrie's case. It'll be difficult, but not impossible to win. In some ways, you have look at how this all has worked itself out. Perry is now being held accountable for his actions on that August 16, 1996. I feel like justice is coming for Janet and soon. We are all hoping that her body can be located for proper burial soon.
We will all be watching and waiting for the jury's verdict on Perry March. He has put Carolyn and Larry though enough hell. Thinking of Janet today on this tenth anniversary. She's still missing but NOT forgotten.

Additional Links:

Court TV's Coverage of The Perry March Murder Case
What Happened To Janet March?

What It's Really Like To Have Someone You Love Turn Up Missing

In the next few days I am going to share with you two stories written by two mothers who have written out what it's like to have their child vanish without a trace. Many times as websleuths and advocates we can imagine what it must be like, but we can't ever understand fully what these people feel on a daily basis.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to use our blog as a space for families to tell their stories and not to use it just for my own thoughts and ideas. I'm seeing too many blogs that are popping up online that are copy pasted material of Amber Alerts and things that are important but at the same time are missing the personal aspect that I feel the readers need. I know that we have people who are reading my material, so I want you all to read the material of these heartbroken mothers, dad, and others who are trying to find their loved ones. Lets all take a moment and step outside from our own lives and imagine ourselves walking a mile in these shoes.

Our first story is written by a dear sweet lady I've only met one time at the CUE Conference in Wilmington, North Carolina. Her name is Donna Parent, and her daughter Brandy Hanna disappeared without a trace on May 20, 2005. She needs to be located. Once you complete reading Donna's writing, please visit Brandy's website - Missing Brandy
Thank-you Donna for sharing this with Angel Garden of Hope and all the others who will be reading this.

What happens when one day someone you love more than life itself disappears? Have you ever thought about this I never did. Until the day my sweet little girl was gone and I had no idea or clue as to what to do. Can you imagine the millons of things that race through your head at a time like this. When Brandy disappeared I did not know what to do other than call the Police that went nowhere fast. My daughter is 32 I was told she could come and go as she pleased. So imagine you realize your child is missing and the people you think are suppose to help you could care less.

I have tried every avenue I can think of to bring attention to her case and keep her face in the public but on a daily basis I have people come into the Restaurant where I work and she did before she went missing . They have not heard one thing about Brandy missing and these people live in the same town I do . Brandy has been missing almost 15 months how is this possible?

Then you have the people who call you with all the I saw her over here or she was at this motel. I saw her walking down the road. You would not believe the stories I have been told.

Then you have the bodies that are found these are the worst as you wait sometimes days to find out if this is your missing loved one and all the thoughts go through your head as you wait to find out.

Then you have the people who think just because its been 15 months I should be over it, they forgot about it why haven`t you.Life is not easy for the family of missing persons only a select few get the attention they should all get.

Missing males get the least amount of publicity I don`t know why this is, they are just as important as females.My daughter is Missing I hate saying that but it is true I can`t move forward nor can i go backward I am stuck in the day she went missing.

People can say all they want but until you`ve walked in our shoes please don`t judge how we react to things you say or do.You do not feel the pain and suffering we are going through constantly, we can not turn these emotions on and off . Nor can we stop looking for our precious missing person even if we have to do it alone. Its not a path I chose but its one I have to walk to find my daughter

Mom Still Missing After Two Years

Yolanda Bindics had just concluded her shift at the Family Dollar store where she was employed in Jamestown, New York when she disappeared without a trace. She'd never not called nor come home because she was a devoted mother of four young children that she loved and cared for. The next day Yolanda's car was found abandoned at a nearby Arby's and still no sign of Yolanda. By now, family and friends were very much concerned that something had happened to Yolanda. Now that two years has passed, that concern has grown to fear.

In the months after Yolanda's disappearance, there were some items related to her that were found and submitted into evidence, and even some people that might be potential suspects, but so far, no arrests. One man in particular was employed with the police department and known to have a connection with Yolanda at one time. He's had some questionable behavior with women and some believe he may have harassed Yolanda Bindics around the time before she vanished. To date, he has not been arrested in connection with her disappearance.
There have been more questions than answers in regards to Yolanda's disappearance and it just does not seem possible that anyone could just drop off the face of the earth. Somewhere, there is someone that knows where Yolanda Bindics is.

Today our group is remembering Yolanda Bindics on the two year anniversary since she vanished. Our thoughts are with her family and friends who continue to search for her. May they be given the strength to continue on as long as this may take. The uncertainty of dealing with a missing person case is so very difficult at times.

Related Link:

Where is Yolanda

When Helpfullness Turns To Harassment With Victim's Families

Scenario

Imagine yourself as a normal everyday Joe or Jane who came home from work one day and your life has been turned upside down. Somebody you love has been taken from your life and you have NO idea what has happened to them, and it appears that you are going to have to start a campaign to find them. Let’s say that you’ve never ever been on TV, never even called into the radio station to request a song, but now you have to do something, so you started out doing the best you can do. Nobody can ask you to do any better, after all, this is what any relative would do for somebody they love.

All the sudden, after being on TV, you begin receiving emails, phone calls, packages, among other things from an individual that you don’t know. They start out as friendly and helpful, but as you are eventually unable to answer over 50 emails per day for example, they begin take a turn towards something not so pleasant. It becomes very overwhelming for you because you are already in the middle of a crisis, because let’s remember your loved one is GONE and you are fighting to find them.

Personal Thoughts on the Above Scenario

Often times when some people see a television show on Court TV or AETV for example of a family who has suffered a loss, they want to reach out to the family to offer assistance and understanding to help them with their loss.
Any person who is having a difficult time could surely be appreciative of someone’s assistance, UNTIL it begins to overstep certain boundaries that should never ever be crossed.

There is a fine line that must never ever be crossed when helping someone or when we decide to become an advocate. Basically, it’s what I call a code of ethics. We must never ever tread into someone’s territory without being permission and trust must be earned. Trust is not earned with families suffering overnight, it will take time, probably not for months, or until they learn from your work from references. Let’s remember these people are hurting and do not need more drama added to the hell they are currently witnessing.
We are here to help and understand that there are certain parts of the case and heartbreak that we are not to be part of. After all, we are NOT a family member and we have no right to intrude into someone’s personal space by calling, emailing, showing up, or doing things that exhibit mental instability.

At no time should a family who is already suffering a loss have to go to their local authorities and file charges against a person has interjected themselves into their case and have taken the turn from friendly to threatening. It is enough to lose a loved one, and enough to be taken out of normal every day life, having to go onto TV shows for assistance, but then to pick up unwanted viewers who do not have the best intentions.

As with every family who longs for that one minute on National TV, I always tell them, please be aware of what can happen once you go onto TV with your case. While there are so many positive aspects of that, there can be a dark side. There are so many people who have nothing better to do than sit at home and watch TV all day long and actually think they are part of your situation and do anything to get into your life – and not for positive reasons. I suppose this is a risk that the family has to take to find out what happened to somebody the love. It’s not fair but what else can you do?

There are laws in each state that protect against online stalking, telephone harassment, those who have mental disabilities who harass innocent people. No family, victim’s advocate, or organization should have to deal with this type of situation.


Life is all about choices and actions. If you are witnessing this type of unwanted behavior, it is best to nip it in the early stages. Sometimes when dealing with a full on stalker, you must contact your law enforcement to file a report. If your local law enforcement refuses to take the matter seriously, call your news media. Always keep copies of the harassment in all forms, and stand up for your rights. Those who choose to victimize families and organizations of the missing and murdered are the same as the murderers. With the assistance of those working to stop these types of people, they will be taken off our streets and put behind bars where they belong. They are not helping they are hurting others.

I hate to see another family or person be hurt by another individual who finds it necessary to overstep the boundary of helpfulness to harassment. How can we know the next person who will wake up tomorrow and their life will be changed forever and then they’ll have to witness not only their personal loss, but then have to witness something of this nature. We’ll all work to stop this from happening. Just as we’ll work to find each and every missing and murdered person justice.