FindCarrie - AGH - Missing & Murdered Person Blog

Information on missing and murdered people and the issues surrounding their cases. ***No material on this site is to be redistributed or rewritten - Copyright Find Carrie Culberson***

Monday, December 12, 2005

Remembering Our Goals and Intentions as Searchers

Today's blog entry is one that is often not discussed openly. That topic is the intentions and personal goals of those who work with missing people. I've been saving this entry for a while now, because when I wrote it, I wanted it to be written so that it got the point across and it was not confusing.
When I began working with missing and murdered people, I was somewhat ignorant for a better word as to what is working with and against us in this area. Often times, I trusted people who seemed to be authentic, but were far from it. Only time would prove my theories and need for others to hear me. How could someone be working for a not so nice purpose in a situation as serious as missing and murdered? Some people were authentic and hard core for several weeks or even months, and then they became either noexistent or scarce. This is a hard area to remain dedicated because there are days you are totally overwhelmed and others you are simply tired. As stated in a previous blog entry, we do not get any days off from this. It goes 24-7 year around. There are also those who see a vulerable situation as a way to gain something for themselves for whatever sick reasons. This does happen in life, and it's the darker side of life, just as those who've become a victim of a serious crime.

I've come to learn that there are several who crave the attention of the community, media and their peers. Often taking other people's ideas, thoughts and even words and using them as their own. Some will even go as far as to see what kind of financial gain they can obtain from this. Those who try to take the financial aspect are usually terribly mistaken because we just dont make any money working with the missing. Most of us work 8-5 jobs and then pay for a lot of necessary things out of our own pocket.

There are even those who attempt to turn an innocent family who is already devasted and confused around some of us who are authentic. The family believes that because they receive a well written email that possibly they are about to scammed and nobody wants to be scammed. Fear spreads over them because they are already in a mess. This is when certain people attempt to gain control of the situation and take over. They cut all communication because it's better to be safe than sorry, right? How do we know who we should trust when this happens? Are we gaining the truth or taking on somebody else's insecurity and issues?

I always tell our families to ask for references, ask for examples of services given, and never trust anyone who tries to overtake your ideas, words or thoughts and change them to suit their needs. These are your words. Your loved one is missing. The community would rather hear your than somebody else. You are the only one who give the final say on anything. Be suspicious of those who begin telling you things that seem impossible or strange. Most of all, you should never be charged for a service that is supposed to be free.

We are not here to compete for the limelight. We are here to help find these missing people. It is not about seeing our name in an article or saying, "I am in contact with the family". We are not eighth graders. We are supposed to be a team. There is always going to be somebody who comes up with something in this life to top your ideas or accomplishments. This is when you will see many people's true colors. This is also when you become the better person and overcome your own insecurities and say, "you know, you did a good job". One thing that is very important in this area is confidence in ourselves to make a difference and to bring as many others along with us who want the same thing. It's not about taking the easiest cases, or taking credit for it ending positive. We stand here in good times and bad times. We do not give up or lose focus of what is most important to us. There is no room for jealousy or control when it comes to the missing. We shall not use any excuse, even a missing child of our own to mistreat others or plant seeds of deceit in the wrong places. We shall take a look deep inside our hearts and see what really matters to us. Hopefully it will be the same thing that I get up for each day. It's the fact that somebody is waking up in another place hurting and needing answers. They have not got the strength to do everything alone. It wont kill me to step outside my own comfort zone and help. I'm not concerned with any rewards here on this earth. I'm more concerned with what happens on that day we blink out into where many of these loved one are right now that we are searching for. For every action that is wrong, there'll be a consequence. Make sure you are right when you decide to take a step in the wrong direction.


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